Dum, de, dum, dum, duuuuum. No not DUMB!!!

Tis the season, and all through class, we are all looking forward to a new semester at last.  With our portfolios given to the professor at last, we wait with bitten nails to see if we will pass.  Instead of a final log on the fire, we have a final blog on the 'puter, oh how times have changed from logs to blogs....

Ok, I know I am not a poet, I decided to let the voices in my head have some fun.  So now let me look back on the semester in English 001 and Professor Simon, oh don't worry, I'll be nice.  After all, SHE HAS MY PORTFOLIO!!!! I have to say, this has been the hardest, most frustrating, want to punch my computer in the screen, hair pulling (if I had hair) class I have ever taken.  But above all, a huge learning experience.

It has taken most of the semester, but I think my writing has improved.  I know what I have to do in the hopes to write a passing paper, BRIBE SOMEONE IN THE LEARNING LAB!!! just kidding.  I have learned, and have to keep beating myself with a baseball bat in the head to keep it there for now, that I must outline before writing.  It is still difficult for me to do, but I am getting better with doing so.

Hmmm, the least favorite thing I have had to endure the entire semester, let me see.  Was it reading The Omnivore's Dilemma? Nooo.  Was it watching the movie "Food Inc?" Nooo. Was it doing all the chapters in Evergreen?  Not anywhere close.  It was ALL THE FREAKING REWRITES OF MY ESSAYS!  Profressor Simon blew my organizational skill out of the water with all of the rewrites.  But that is over now, thank God.  I think having all of the writing out of the way is why I am growing my hair back, that and it's freakin cold outside.

The two things I enjoyed the most were, reading the Omnivore's Dilemma (yeah, I am weird, you haven't seen all of me yet) and watching "Food Inc."  I really did find them interesting.  I will keep my book and pass it on to someone in my family to read.  I must add, I really liked working with Neshay and Paula on our little group assignment.  After my prior experience with a group project in Psych that was a nightmare, this group was fun and enjoyable.

Oh boy, advice to the new vict, I mean students, under the wings of Professor Simon.  BE PREPARED TO WRITE and WRITE and WRITE SOME MORE!!!  If you can't type, you need to learn or get someone that can, you're gonna need them.  Also, have your assignments done, or else you will get the tongue lashing of you life.  Also go to the learning center, she harps on that too, but it is worth it.  She is a mother (not what you're thinking), and she shows it.

I wish someone had told me how time consuming this class was going to be, I would have re-worked my schedule (personal) to allow for such time consumption.  But, like I said earlier, this semester has been one of learning, and that I have done.  Onward to the next semester.

Can someone pull me out of the quicksand

Do we ever get a break?  I am so sick of writing that I wish my hand was broke!!!!  Rewrite this, that and the other, then do it again!  Just kidding, it's been a bad day.  Actually, I am looking forward to a change.

I was planning on submitting the first essay, but Prof. Simon advised against it.  I think I am going to submit, if I ever get the rewrites right :) essay 3 and the midterm.  I like those two the best, besides, they are the freshest one in my overly taxed brain.  FYI, Prof Simon, I am still working on my others for rewrites too.

GrrrrGrumbleGrrrr

It has been a long night.  One of my dogs, my old girl Annie, kicked, had nightmares all night long.  Her kicking and nightmares threw me into my own fitful night of tossing, turning, and nightmares of my own.  My nightmares consisted of my mom's family, 2 sets of them.  It would have been a nice dream if most of the family  wasn't there, and my favorite aunt and my grandmother should had been.  Oh well, at least I was at my grandmother's house.  Even though ownership has taken place, which has its own issues, it is still and will always be grandma's house.  So, needless to say, I am sleep deprived and a whole lot cranky, but life goes on.

Now as I sit here "trying to get my juices flowing" my thoughts are wandering from one thing to another.  I am thinking about what and how I am writing, being critical as usual about what I am doing, wondering why the heck I am doing it anyway.  Yes there are issues I am having, but now is not the time, I need more coffee in order to be civil.

Then, Now and Later

Looking back at the first paper I wrote for class; Mirror, Mirror, I see now how badly my punctuation was.  My grammar wasn't too bad.  My structure wasn't so good.  This course is mandatory for me to take per my entrance test scores.   I had said that my goals were going to do my best in the class and  maybe skip the next English class and move on to a college level English course.  At this current time, I don't think that is going to happen.  My other goal, a personal one, was to be on the Dean's List for once.  I don't think that is going to happen either.  I am doing the best I can, and so far in my other classes, I am doing very well.  Ok, this is a new goal, and it is being obtained.  My writing skills I feel have not improved, I am still everywhere/scatter brained.  I have to come up with a different strategy, because nothing is working for me so far.

I am  still struggling with my writing.  I suffer from test anxiety so, every writing assignment, it is like I am taking a test.  I get nervous, go blind per se', and remain scatter brained with my ideas.  It is extremely frustrating.  I  have taken the advise of Prof. Simon about putting what I have written away and coming back to it and then edit what I wrote.  That isn't working too well for me.  I see what needs to be changed, added, punctuated, but I am unable to see that my thoughts are everywhere or I totally miss the subject.  I did go to the tutoring center, but I was even more confused after the session.  My next step, going to Prof. Simon.  She has already told me that I was going to fail if I didn't change my writing...  I spend hours on my writing assignments, I try to do my best, and I am still fraking it up.  Am I anywhere near my goals I listed on day one?  Frak no!  Am I going to give up? Double Frak No!  I am pissed off, and ready for a fight, so look out.

I originally was going to put my first essay into my portfolio, but I have decided against it.  My original thought was, those who were going to do the readings would see where I was and then where I am now with my writing.  The reason why I decided against it is, the first essay has been totally revised, and no longer reflects a true first writing.  I am not sure what I am going to put into my portfolio yet.  I will make that decision soon, so that I don't get strapped down later trying to make a decision

I am going to try other writing strategies.  I have ideas that may or may not work, but I won't know until I try them.  After all, I have rewrites to do.  Something is bound to work allowing me to win this battle of writing.  I will keep going to the writing center, and visiting Prof. Simon, so look out everyone, here I come.

Frak! What a week

For those of you that watch scifi tv. shows you know what FRAK means.  For those of you that don't well, let's just leave it that way.  So, FRAK WHAT A WEEK!!!! It is Friday.  Blessed Friday!!!  After a week of midterms, this week of hell is finally over.  I had 4 tests which to most people isn't a lot, but it is a nightmare to someone that has test anxiety.

Spanish went surprisingly well, my preliminary comment was, with a heavy natural accent, "you did petty well" per my instructor.  I memorized the body parts, pluralized verbs (we won't go there about conjunction verbs).  I can't do that in English, so how am I supposed to do that in Spanish?  I know it will be safe to say that my English in class essay was not very good.  I am still learning how to write "properly".  I used to be able to write fluidly, but that went to hell quickly, and is slow to rise.  I am trying my damnedest to get better ratings on my papers.   I did feel pretty good after taking my math test yesterday.  I am scared over that one though.  In the past, everytime I thought I did well on a test, I usually bombed it.  Math is not my strong suit.  I have a wonderful instructor.  Instructors like him are hard to find.  He definetely has a gift, God bless him.

As for Psych, I really think and have a feeling I bombed it.  It was my final test of the week at 8:00am (Friday).  Nathan and I went to a movie last night, our first nighttime movie together ever.  We got home late; 11:45pm.  I had a couple of beers and then went to bed.  I set my alarm so it would go off at 6:00am.  I was awake at 4:00, 4:40, 5:00, 5:30.  I refused to get out of bed to get ready for my 8:00am class.  I got out of bed at 6:02am, showered and took the kids out to be pottied.  After pottying them, I grabbed my coffee, boy it was good, just right.  I then proceeded to my bedroom to review.  All was going well.  Time passed (not much) and now it is 7:00am and I am hungry.  Don't mess with me when I am hungry and have not had enough coffee.

I nuked one of my Aunt Jemima breakfasts, sat down on the couch with my 2nd cup of coffee and my breakfast.  Sorry Prof. Simon, "Omnivores Dilemma" be damned.  I love the book and I am fascinated by it, but I love my premade breakfasts.  I had 2 English Muffins as well.  One had butter and the other had peanut butter.  I needed the extra protien.  I should have gone to Carribou Coffee for my favorite coffee, White Chocolate Mocha, double shot.  I would have been ready to take on anything.

I tried taking the bus to school, but as usual, I missed it.  One of my Psych classmates wandered into the bus stop later that I did and was going to take the metrobus.  I suggested he save his money and we would just drive up.  This suggestion made him very happy, he would finally get to ride in The Quinn (I named my Smartcar Quinn, long story).  He told me that he had taken pictures of The Quinn and had sent them to his girlfriend but now, he was riding in it!  We got to the college garage and parked and headed to class.  That boy can walk faster than me.  I was trying my hardest to keep up.  I would give in to being slower than him, male pride thing.  We got to class with about 10 minutes to spare.

Prof. James began passing out the scantron sheets.  I have always hated those stupid things. I want to play "connect the dots".  Not a good idea when trying to take a test.  Once I got my test, I began scanning over the questions.  This was not going to be an easy test.  There were too many words that had nearly the same definitions, I was doomed.  I read the questions, sometimes 2 and 3 times prior to filling in the dot, finally did so and moved on to the next question.  Literally half way through the test, all of the pent up stress and frustration from the entire week left me.  I felt like I had had a wet wool blanket lifted off of me.  I became so sleepy.  The words went blurry, becoming this nasty mess of black and white fuzz.  I fell asleep right there taking my test.  I know I did because I woke up before my head hit the desk.  Now I was struggling to stay awake and couldn't remember anything, so I had to quess.  Hope I didn't fail the test.  When it is finals week or the next round of midterms next semester, you can surely bet that Carribou Coffee's stocks will rocket!

I barely made it home and now I hardly remember driving.  I walked in the door and was greeted by my kids, Nathan was on the couch working on another story.  He asked me how it went and told him what had happened.  After a quick telling of the event, I went to back to bed.  I think I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.  I didn't even get undressed.  I woke up after a wonderful 3 hour nap  We are going out to lunch.  We are going to hit the Blue Pearl in Downtown Silver Spring.  I love cheap Chinese food.  Heck you can't hardly beat $8.11 for an all you can eat lunch.

The major stress of classes and test is over now.  I still have a great deal of writing to do for next week and to work on my psych project.  This is going to be a breeze in comparison to this past FRAKIN WEEK.

This writing thing ain't easy.

When I write I become engrossed in it.  I am blind and deaf to my surroundings and have gotten the (unmentionable) scared out of me.

I tend to sit down at either my laptop or my desk top and begin to write.  As I writing, I am envisioning what I am writing.  I have a VERY difficult time making outlines, I am dense when it comes to doing them.  I am trying to fix that.  Anyway, I write/type whatever comes into my head pertaining to the subject, generally adding too much information. 
After I written down everything, sometimes in the middle of my writing, I will print out what is there and proof read it.  I will look for errors, things that I need to elaborate on, get rid of or clarify.  I tend to do this a couple of times throughout my paper. This is my general way of writing

Open Wide Honey, Here Comes The Food Industry.

I have heard stories about how beverages such as Coca Cola and Pepsi and their subsidiaries are processed.  Stories of rats, bugs even urine from the workers being in the vats filled with the delicious liquid that we buy.  Mind you they were stories, but I guess anything is possible.  Along with my classmates I had a required viewing of "Food Inc." A documentary by Michael Pollan about the food industry.  Wow! What an eye opener.

It is amazing to know why we are getting sick from Ecoli, Salmonella and who knows whatever else.  The large corporations in my opinion do not care about the "little people" but rather money, money, money.  Efficiency breeds money regardless of the outcomes.  Just try proving you got sick from the "fresh" meats and or vegetables you just bought from the store.

The food industry has become an enormous entity that cannot be touched.  The FDA and USDA in my oppinion are a joke.  The federal organizations with NO POWER!!! They are supposed to regulate the farmers, make sure the food we eat is safe, well that isn't happening.  Some of the people in control actually worked for the main companies that produce our food!  Uhm, don't forget, efficiency breeds money...So the rich get richer and poor get poorer and sick!  We as a society have allowed the corporate world to take over every facet of what we eat and drink.

After watching the movie,  I wonder what the CEO's of the main meat producing companies eat.   A good number of the FDA and USDA executive worked for individual food companies prior to going into the government.  Do they eat tainted/dirty beef, pork, or poultry?  Do they eat the "fresh" vegetables that have been tainted with salmonella, ecoli or some other life threatening bacteria? Or do they go to the local farmer and buy his or her home grown, grass fed products?

After watching the movie, I look at meat and other products that I buy in a different light.  Like so many americans, I can't afford to buy the good stuff on a daily basis right now, but in the future I think that will change.  I hope those that read my blog will rent the movie or watch it on Youtube....  It is well worth the time if you can stomach what you see.  So for now, I am opening wide, for here comes the food industry.

You've got to be kidding, it's what time again???

Monday, September 20, 2010

You've got to be kidding, it's what time again???

When I was a teenager growing up on our farm in Southwestern Pa., we had a rooster that would begin crowing at about 3:00am.  I wanted to ring its neck and put it into a stew pot!  If that wasn't bad enough after working my tail to the bone the day before, at about 7:00am my dad would start yelling "get up you farmers, the day is a wastin."  I didn't have a pot big enough for him.  Now I wake up because I have 8:00am classes.  How do you ring your own neck?

Yeah, my day begins at 6:00am with me trying to decide whether or not to blow off class. Sorry teach, I am not a morning person.  With much deliberation I decide to go to class.  After all, I'm not sick.  I have paid out HOW MUCH MONEY???  I might as well get as much as I can out of it.  God I hate 8:00am classes.

Now that I have decided that I am going to class, I rise from my bed.  Oh God I hurt.  Now I know how Frankenstein felt when he got off the slab in the laboratory and why zombies walk the way they do.  I could be one of them, I move like that.

I'm up and now on the path to the bathroom and as usual (on a daily basis) I kick Rowan, one of our dogs.  She jumps up because I scared her, you'd think she would learn after 12 years not to lie in the path in the bedroom.  Besides, I am blind as a bat without my glasses but noooo she gets kicked and I trip over her nearly breaking my neck.  I give my dogs voices and Rowan's voice is a hillbilly with a sailor's mouth.   Got that image?  So after almost breaking my neck tripping over her and her giving my a look that could kill, I grab my towel and trudge into the bathroom.

I enter into the bathroom, turning on the light and instantly turn into Dracula on a sunny day.  Damn that light's bright.  Now I am being blinded by the light on top of not having my glasses on!  This is just not fair.

Time to start the "becoming human" part of my ritual.  I answer the call of "mother nature", yeah I am not going any further with that, you've got the picture.  After I have shut her up, I turn to medicine cabinet scaring myself.  For someone that doesn't wear makeup maybeI should!  I really am scary this early in the morning.  I could get arrested for this!  I open and close my mouth at the same time trying to trying to wake up my salivary glands.  It doesn't work, not too many things are awake right now.

I hate flossing.  Flossing hurts, but needless to say, it needs to be done.  With that done it is now time to PULL OUT THE BRUSHERATOR.  I use Colgate toothpaste.  I grew up on the stuff and boy does it wake your mouth up.  I open the tube and squeeze out more that I probably should use.  How much are you supposed to use?  Anyway, I attack my mouth and teeth with a vengeance, brushing up and down, back and forth working up a lather like you wouldn't believe.  I look like a rabid human, all I would have to do is growl and someone would try and shoot me.  With my teeth brushed the next thing to do is the dreaded tongue and roof of the mouth brushing.  Now I am a rabid, Gothic human beast that sounds like I am being killed slowly from the inside out.

Thankfully that is done, time to wake the rest of the body.  I reach into the shower and turn on the hot water valve.    During the week I generally have instant hot water.  This morning I do. YES!!!  I have to turn on the cold water just a little to temper down the hot water.  After I get the water to the temperature I want it I turn on the shower head and then step in to the tub/shower, closing the curtain behind me.  Oh the water feels so good.  I feel my muscles loosening up.  I turn around a couple of times letting the water hit me.  I take my wash-cloth and soap and wet them under the shower head rubbing the cloth over the soap causing a nice lather.

Just like brushing my teeth, I scrub my body with a vengeance except there isn't any guttural growls that would make your hair stand up.  I use this time to stretch myself out.  This is the perfect time to do so.  After a good scrubbing comes the rinse.  My most enjoyable part of a shower.  My skin is tingling from the scrubbing and the water now feels even better.

I turn off the water, open the curtain and grab my towel so that I can dry off.  After drying I have to face myself in the mirror again before I can get the deodorant.  Hmmmm, not so scary now, huh?  With that done, I am off back to the bedroom to grab my clothes.

I stop at my wardrobe and grab my underwear and socks.  I throw them on the bed as I head into the closet to get what  I am going to wear.  I have a lot of clothes but not everything fits.  Though I think that is changing.  Do I want to wear jeans and a T-shirt or shorts and a T-shirt?  I am not awake enough for this.  I go for my usual, shorts and a T-shirt.  As I get dressed I can smell the coffee.  By now it is finished brewing.I am dressed now.  I grab my glasses and put them on.  Then I grab my books and my back pack for my 8:00am class and head for the living room.  I drop everything off on the desk and let my nose lead me to the fountain of coffee

.  Nathan has learned, DON'T TALK TO ME UNTIL I HAVE HAD A GULP OF COFFEE.  I am not nice before my coffee.  I open the silverware drawer and grab a big spoon.  I grab my creamer canister and open it, hmmm, I need to remember to buy creamer (yep this is a daily thought, and on a daily basis, I still forget to buy creamer).  I spoon out a nice heaping spoonful into my coffee cup.  I put that away lift my coffee cup up and push it to the coffee pot's dispenser.  Oh what a wonderful sight....black, well almost, gold filling my coffee cup.  The aroma is wonderful.  My mouth is now watering, maybe I should drink coffee before brushing my teeth and showering.   I don't think that would be a good idea.  I would probably break my fool neck tripping over one of the kids (my dogs) or shoes or their toys.  No, I can't take that chance.

With coffee in hand, my mouth is watering, my are eyes beginning to focus, I head to the couch.  I sit down and reposition myself, making myself comfortable.  Yeah, now I am comfortable, here comes the first taste of coffee.  I make strong coffee.  Oh the heated moisture rising from the cup with that fresh aroma both hitting my nose, the color of the liquid, oh God it is wonderful.  The first sip, mmmmmm boy it's good.  I hold it in my mouth just long enough to enjoy and so that I don't burn my throat when I swallow it.  I finally let it go, swallowing my first gulp of coffee.  It it goes down like the smoothest chocolate you have ever tasted.  I am now sociable and can be talked to as I sit here watching the "Today Show."

It is now time for me to put on my watch and my shoes.  I am now completely dressed for class.  I grab my books, shove them into my backpack, grab my keys, phone and wallet, all of which get thrown into my backpack.  I tell Nathan and our kids goodbye.  I do my mental checklist before leaving out the door; "keys, phone, watch, wallet, right books, check."  Out the door and to the bus.

Being a student with 8:00am classes really bites, but when I don't have classes, I get more done in those two hours than most do in 2-3 times that amount of time.  So I guess it pays off in the long run.  I just hope I remember that tomorrow morning when this starts all over again.

No wonder I look like Uncle Fester

Have you ever recorded your voice and then listened to it?  Did you think " Do I really sound like that?"  You know that old saying "The camera puts on 10 pounds..."  You look at a picture of yourself and think "Do I really look like that?"   Well, the camera used to take my picture should have been smashed in a million pieces, but it wasn't.  I bought it for Nathan this past Christmas, so I couldn't.  The camera not only told the truth (I ain't a toothpick), but added more like 50 pounds!!!

I wish I could blame the camera but I can't because I don't eat right.  For instance, today I had my coffee, which was nice and strong.  We by the whole bean by Myorga, oh that is some nice coffee.  I generally don't eat breakfast though I have been trying to.  I stopped at Carribou Coffee after classes today, which is like my third time ever.  I had a White Chocolate Mocha.  Oh my gosh, it rocked and I was wired after that.  I came home and made a turkey sandwich with swiss cheese and mustard on wheat bread.  I thought about grilling it but I was too lazy.  I had a nice tall glass of tea.  I like my tea "naked" no sugar or lemon added.  I find it really refreshing.

We had cheddarworst hotdogs and french fries for dinner.  We found dill relish which is a nice change from the normal sweet relish which we don't like.  We usually don't eat dinner until late, usually between 8pm and 9pm.  Well I get hungry before Nathan does but I don't want to eat dinner without him so I snack.  Before dinner I had a couple of beers which lead to having some of the pretzels I bought earlier in the week.  The pretzels weren't satisfying so I had some salt and vinegar potatoe chips.  Then I needed something sweet and I had an oatmeal cake by Little Debbie.  Boy those things are addicting.

Yeah, this is why I look like Uncle Fester.  I know better!  I'm a nurse for Pete's sake! Why the food that is not good for you tastes sooooo darn good!?  Just put a light bulb in my mouth and you'll see what I mean.

My first blog...

It is the first day of Eng 001, oh my!  It has been 25 years since I was first in college and taking an English course.  Right now I feel overwhelmed, but hey, I have endured worse as an active nurse.  My Prof. asked us to start our own blog.  I have never blogged before, I feel stupid, not the first time.  As usual, I am diving in head first (glad I am shaven bald---less friction.)  I had to have from a classmate to get through the setup of my blog page.  Thank God she is so nice, though I don't know her name, yet.

Yeah, I am a glutten for punishment, I am looking forward to writing the papers, doing the research etc. rubbing my bald head in frustration (I will have to make sure I don't have a "5 o'clock shadow, otherwise I could have a serious burn).

I do feel sorry for my English Pof.  Being a nurse for the past 10yrs. my writing has become cold and to the point, "the facts and just the facts" (if you're old enough, you will know where that comes from....)  She seems to be pretty cool and to the point.

Well folks, this is my first blog.  What do you think?